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What Kind Of Hippo Shopper Are You?

Stuff To Know


  • We will only call you if there is a problem with your order. Or if we just feel like chatting.
  • If you sign up for our newsletter, you will not be bombarded with email every day. We send it out about twice a month. Usually not even that often.
  • Our shopping cart vendor requires a mailing address to complete the checkout and does not allow anonymous guest checkout at this time. But don't worry: we will not drive by your house and throw hippo poo on your lawn.
  • We don't share our customer addresses or email list with anyone, ever, under any circumstances.
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  • Our handling time is 3-5 business days depending on the post office schedule. We typically ship everything via U.S. Mail, either First Class for the smaller, flatter items or Priority for the larger items. We use estimated shipping on every order because that's the easiest way to do it. We've refined this method so we are usually pretty darn close. Yes, shipping is expensive. We can't do anything about this. Well, we are trying to set up our own fleet of flying hippos but they tend to be a bit unreliable, stopping at every waterhole they fly over. You can expect to receive your items within 5-10 business days. If you need your order by a specific date, please let us know at checkout so that we can put our butts into high gear and crank out that package.
  • You might be alarmed at the international shipping rates. Yes, they are high. We estimated high so we have coverage so we don't lose money and go out of business. HOWEVER! We always refund the cost of any overage in our estimated shipping. You people who live overseas know what I am talking about. If you live in the U.S. stop reading this paragraph right now. 

  • We will accept the return of any item for any reason. Just send it back within one week and we'll give you a replacement or refund your money.

  • If something arrives damaged, please let us know by email and we'll send you a new one. Don't bother being annoyed about the breakage because it's most likely not our fault - we pack everything with the utmost care so that not even a big hippo butt could break our stuff. Although the post office can.